I won this round
April 28th 2008 03:38
I had an important event to go to yesterday.It was my oldest grandson's 11th birthday party.I haven't been able to make it to a grandchild's birthday party in 2 years.Well, I made it.
At times I had to go to a more quiet room because of the noise,my pain level went up.But it was important for me to get there and I did.
I think of all the years my parents came to my kids' birthday parties and school events.My mom had alot of chronic physical ailments throughout her life.I know she had chronic pain.I have more respect for her now than I ever did.
For those with chronic pain or a disability that keeps you from being able to do things that are important to you and aren't always able to,please you are not alone.And it is not your fault.I know that with my situation, many times,my guilt is as strong as my pain.
For those who are related,friends,coworkers of people with chronic pain,please try to understand.There is never a time they don't need your support.We don't have control over our bodies.We can't make plans for certain ahead of time.Speaking for myself,I literally have to go by the hour,or less.I may be able to handle a situation and then when the pain is on the rise,I have to leave.
I have gotten dressed to go some place and by that time,I just can't go.It's not that I don't want to,I cannot.The pain makes the rules.
I mourn for the person I was.I know now that I actually liked myself.I miss my sense of humor.I miss being able to be silly with my grandkids,my kids.People with chronic pain have lost thier identity.One thing they don't need to lose, is family and friends.
I have a sister with ms and parkinsons' who lives alone,but she is not alone.She is surrounded by wonderful friends.They take her to doctor appointments,bring her dinner.They go to lunch with her or if one is having a bbq and she can't drive,someone will pick her up.
They accept that some days she is not herself at all.She is a very strong person.I admire that in her.We talk on the phone,we may have a meltdown and the other one understands.She has friends that will come over if she needs.And if she tells them no,she needs to be by herself,they accept that.They don't judge her.They don't abandon her.They are there for her.And I am grateful.
I feel bad sometimes for not being able to be there in the way her friends are,but her friends are,so I know she's ok.
It comes down to being supportive,caring,not judging.So,if you are related to,friends with or know someone with a chronic illness,take a little time to show you care.It can really be true, out of sight,out of mind.
For those who in need of support,reach out.There are support groups.Don't let yourself be alone.
If you can't get out to a support group,see if someone will come to your home.Find an online friendly forum that you feel comfortable with.Remember,you are as important as anyone else.Take care of youself.You're going trhough enough without being alonge
At times I had to go to a more quiet room because of the noise,my pain level went up.But it was important for me to get there and I did.
I think of all the years my parents came to my kids' birthday parties and school events.My mom had alot of chronic physical ailments throughout her life.I know she had chronic pain.I have more respect for her now than I ever did.
For those with chronic pain or a disability that keeps you from being able to do things that are important to you and aren't always able to,please you are not alone.And it is not your fault.I know that with my situation, many times,my guilt is as strong as my pain.
I have gotten dressed to go some place and by that time,I just can't go.It's not that I don't want to,I cannot.The pain makes the rules.
I mourn for the person I was.I know now that I actually liked myself.I miss my sense of humor.I miss being able to be silly with my grandkids,my kids.People with chronic pain have lost thier identity.One thing they don't need to lose, is family and friends.
I have a sister with ms and parkinsons' who lives alone,but she is not alone.She is surrounded by wonderful friends.They take her to doctor appointments,bring her dinner.They go to lunch with her or if one is having a bbq and she can't drive,someone will pick her up.
I feel bad sometimes for not being able to be there in the way her friends are,but her friends are,so I know she's ok.
It comes down to being supportive,caring,not judging.So,if you are related to,friends with or know someone with a chronic illness,take a little time to show you care.It can really be true, out of sight,out of mind.
For those who in need of support,reach out.There are support groups.Don't let yourself be alone.
If you can't get out to a support group,see if someone will come to your home.Find an online friendly forum that you feel comfortable with.Remember,you are as important as anyone else.Take care of youself.You're going trhough enough without being alonge
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