Migraine,Child abuse,Cardiovascular Disease
June 23rd 2010 19:25
Hide Your Emotions
(link @ bottom of page)
Maybe I should have found this article's information relating migraine and child abuse surprising,but I did not...maybe that's because I came from a home that looked happy from the outside,but behind the closed door,the opposite was true.
Putting on the face every day to go to school, trying to do homework, get passing grades, full of fear as you opened the front door. I cannot tell you which was worse, the anticipation or the abuse.
I never told anyone. My friends were shocked when I did tell them after we became adults. Of course, I didn't have them over,it was usually me going to their house.
While many children day dreamed, planned for the future, we were in survival mode. Of course you felt a responsibility, "if I do this,it will make her happy" "I can make things better" And this for me has been a life long "battle" as I became the peacemaker, the "fixer". The burden that I carried and still do at times long after my mom died and now almost three years since my dad is gone. I still don't "breathe" right. I never fully exhale. A lump in my throat like you get before you're going to cry.
The burden, holding in your feelings(don't cry,it makes things worse) I also grew up at the time children were not to be seen nor heard.
I still believe today there are many children suffering in silence.
Here is the link to the article I spoke of in the beginning:http://esciencenews .com/articles/2010/06/23/migr aine.sufferers.who.experience d.childhood.abuse.have.greate r.risk.cardiovascular.disease
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Comment by True1
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breeze
As I read your post I really felt for you as a child and as an adult. Especially, the part about you not breathing fully and walking around with a lump in your throat.
Have you considered trying yoga or meditation? Have you tried talking to a therapist?
Try reminding yourself, often, that you are not that child, anymore and that you not in that situation, now. You are safe. Possibly, even visualize your caring and strong adult self intervening for yourself as a child.
I said a prayer for you and I sincerely wish for your anxiety & your migraines to lessen or better yet disappear completely. Take care